I’m doing it…

Writers, editors, and self-help writing books all preach the same thing. Write, write, and write some more….then write a little more. On the first story/novel I was fresh to the whole thing and was super eager to do something. So I wrote 2000 words, 3000 words here or there. Momentum and tenacity sort of got me to my 49,820 words and an ending. On the one hand I was super stoked because I’d finished a story and in all honesty I’d rarely done that. I’d started a lot of stuff, but almost never finished anything. On the other hand I was bummed for two reasons. The first was because it was the typical story I always wrote and think of. There were no star wars references, no force, no swords but it was still a Star Wars clone. I changed the names to protect the innocent.

So fast forward three or four weeks and a myriad of starts and stops. Gothic vampire novel idea. Check. Uber cool Urban fanstasy. Check. Hip futuristic Cyberpunk concept. Check. All of these great ideas/concepts were no more than a page or two and I kept returning to this idea that I wanted to write a PI crime story. I read through Sue Grafton novels, and more Robert B. Parker books (I concentrated on the Sunny Randal series) and while I sorted through story idea I returned to one I’d started a few weeks earlier.

It was only a page and a half and crude as hell. I fixed up that page and a half and something clicked while I was doing it. Soon I was off. I realized a few things about my characters and about what makes a story good. Grafton and Parker both rely on the everyday, almost mundane, routine of their characters to spruce things up. A few conflicts here and there and suddenly the mystery is nearly in the back ground. We almost don’t care about it. I found this enlightening and amazing. I’ve tried to incorporate it in this story I’m working on.

I also toned down the characters. All of my characters are really nothing more than super heroes. Flawless and perfect. This time he’s not. Slightly larger than life? Maybe but not perfect. I’m also writing almost everyday. I’ve committed to at least 5,000 words a week and have broken that down to about 1,000 words a day. Never less. A couple of the days have been fairly rough and I’ll probably need to do a really good edit job but its been fun and I’m really feeling like the whole thing is coming together. When I manage to finish it I believe it’ll be the first story I’ve ever written that wasn’t either a sci-fi or a fantasy. I’m pretty excited about that.

Where to go from here?

So I’m still a little stuck with my desire to write. For the past several weeks I’ve started and stopped nearly half a dozen ideas. They seem great and then they peter out. The idea pops into my head and I take off. The first page, then two, then three all come flying across the screen as my fingers type at breakneck speed on the keyboard. I hit my time limit or the idea just fades and I’m left with three pages of a some what acceptable intro….and nothing else!

I’ve even had an outline or two. I’ve come up with a mystery or three that seems super-mega-cool only to sound flat and boring upon reflection. I’ve got characters galore but no one with any sort of depth. I live in a world of cardboard cutouts.

I did finally start a story though and while I have not gotten far it had a depth the previous attempts lacked….but it was a Western Fantasy! Do I even try to write this thing that should not be? Do you spend the time trying to write something that you know isn’t going to sell? Or is this simply my inner critic telling me, “You suck my friend. Get over it.”

I’m sticking with it for now, well because I’ve not had anything else plop into my head, but I still really want to write a mystery. I want to have that recurring character that everyone loves and I doubt there is much of a market for a cowboy fighting werewolves and vampires. (Unless of course Stephen King writes it…or Nancy A. Collins….or Charlaine Harris.)

Still, if I can give enough character to this cowboy of mine perhaps there is a market for it. If I can create such a sympathetic character that the world will want to know what happens to him then perhaps, I too, shall have my own HBO series! Dreams are good but perhaps I should have a bit more modest ones…..like oh I dunno FINISHING IT FIRST!!! Thanks for listening folks and may all your dreams come true.

How do I….

How do I keep with it? I have officially written one story of about 49,000 words. It’s not a bad story and needs to be edited. I look at it as a first step in the process. I can say I’ve written a novel. It’s not a short story (to long according to the Guru’s out there) and though its probably not quite long enough to be a trade paperback I’ll still call it my first novel. So I am officially part of the writer’s world.

Or am I?

Do you have to be published to become part of the Writer’s world? Do you have to have an agent? If someone asks me what I’m working on I tell them I’ve finished one novel and I’m getting ready to do another. This first novel will probably not turn out to be anything more than that novel in the drawer that all authors collect over time. So the trick now is to write a second book.

Or is it?

No really. That’s the goal right. Write one, write two, write three and so on and so forth. So, why can’t I get motivated to write a story and why am I struggling to find that perfect plot, the perfect character. Or better yet utilize that perfect character that’s in my head. I’ve tried writing a western, a sci-fi space opera, a military sci-fi, a fantasy, and finally a murder mystery. Nothing is clicking and the plots I come up with seem over the top and convoluted. So much so that even I’m bored about ten pages in. What gives? The first book went so smoothly. I was on fire and wrote every other day or so. Now I’ve noticed it’s like a week in between sessions.

I’ve visited blogs, I’ve visited Writer’s Digest.com, I’ve started reading some writing books and I’m devouring PI novels from Grafton and Parker because I think that is what I really wanna write. I mean really bad, I’m just having a hard time coming up with something original. So now I’m looking at the K.I.S.S. method, tryin to find a plot that’s easy. An introduction to the character…..and that leads me to the next problem. I wanna write a female main character. I even have one all picked out….but she’s just not working. There’s no flow, no feeling. So I’ve turned to a male character and he’s better but I feel sort of disconnected from him and I’d like to have that change.

So it’s back to drawing board I guess. I’ve picked up some books on developing character, one of them written by Orson Scot Card. Now its time to read them and see if I can breath new life into characters, the way I feel like I did with my first novel. I will say this, it is definitely harder than it sounds or looks. It takes a lot of hard work but I am determined to not be in the; “I had a good story once.” or the “I had this one character once and I was so gonna write.” camps. I wanna make this work, I wanna see my writing in print….even if I have to print it out myself!

Onward and upward and hopefully one foot in front of the other will lead to that perfect combination of character and plot that will then lead to being published! Thanks for listening.

It’s been a while…

Well I guess it’s been nearly two months since my last post and I apologize. I have been writing and going to school part time, working full time and paying husband/father full time (me thinks that’s one to many full times) and the blog has not been a priority. When I started this page it was with the idea that I might freelance a bit, you know try to get my name out and about, but since then I have had other ideas. School has become a priority and I have little visions of an MFA in creative writing floating through my head like faeries high on pixie dust. Unfortunately, reality dictates that I get my AA and my BA first….damn reality! Still it’s a goal….we all need goals…or so I’m told.

In other news I completed my first manuscript. Well at least the first draft of it. Yep my little Masterpiece in the Sky is done. I finished it about three weeks ago and I have promised myself that in another three I’ll pull it back out and re-read it, edit it if you will. The bad news is that since then I’ve literally been able to write….well zilch. I’ve tried, oh lord have I tried, but everything falls flat. The excitement while writing the Masterpiece in the Sky is just not there. Its work, its dull and its cliché. I’ve tried female characters, male characters and sci-fi and mystery. There was a Space Opera for a day, a mystery novel the second. Finally, I tried to combine them both with a cool little plot. The problem….the characters were flat and not likeable in the least. I have found myself backpedalling, questioning my decision to pursue this finicky little art and I find myself in a corner.

Author Lilith Saintcrow doesn’t believe in writer’s block and suggests we write everyday without fail. So I have written drivel after ream of drivel. With my back in the corner I pulled out some old characters from way back in the mid-nineties. I re-examined them and looked at this fantasy world I created. I think it’s good….doable at least. A 6 on a beauty scale of 1 to 10…10 being Angelina Jolie! I sat down and effortlessly put in 2000 words in a little over an hour. It flowed fairly well and best of all I was excited about it. I felt like the character was right there, the story line is a fairly routine one but the main character is not human or elf or dwarf but something I made up on my own and refined for a decade. Maybe it’ll be shite in the end but if I have fun writing it. Who cares!

In related news I’ve been reading like a mad man. 34 books so far this year and while I know some who read this will scoff at such a lowly amount, it is the first time I’ve ever really kept track. I was actually fairly amazed at the diverse style of books. There are westerns, and thrillers, a mystery novel or two and a historical novel, sci-fi and some fantasy. I’m impressed with myself (which is probably far too easy…just ask my friends). If writing is the key to understanding the art of writing than reading must be a pretty close second. So with that in mind I’ll keep writing and keep reading!

Thanks for listening friends of the written word. Keep on reading and keep on putting pen to paper! Er fingers to the keyboard! ;-)

Inspiration Part II:

I just finished reading Stephen King’s book On Writing and I have to say it was pretty good. I noticed as I read it that many of the little sayings you hear from other established authors were repeated. It seems the mantra of the writing world is, “Write, write, and then write some more.” What I found really fascinating was the idea that a writer should, “Read, read and then read some more.” In most books on the art of writing you rarely see this spoken about. Yet, as I surf through author blogs many of them are avid readers as well. They soak up the art form from every angle they can. This idea really struck home for me because I love to read. I tackle book after book and while I may not hit the 70 or 80 books a year that Mr. King does I come pretty close. The logic is so clear that I can’t believe it doesn’t come up more often. How can one pursue the art form if one doesn’t know what the art form is supposed to look like? My boss is a perfect example of this. Her memo’s and emails are horrific. They’re bossy, rude, and lack personality. There is a use of words so far above her regular vocabulary often times the memo/email doesn’t even make sense. Sometimes it’s a struggle just to get through one of them and get any sort of meaning and not be insulted. She doesn’t read. She hates it. It shows. So now I have an excuse for all of my reading (and the money I spend on both new and used books…I’m doing research!)

What I found even more interesting was that I don’t even really like Stephen King’s books but I know he is a sort of god of writing. I mean look at his success. He started out writing for adult magazines and now he’s created some of the most influential books of our time. I’m sure some of his work is even required reading at a few colleges. So as I read On Writing I knew of books like Carrie and The Green Mile but I’ve never read them. In fact the only books of his that I’ve read are The Stand (which was awesome), and The Gunslinger which was not as good as I had hope it would be from the title. I still found myself, however, being inspired by his words. I saw how his tenacity, his knowledge had led him to where he is now. I found similarities between him and me. We both started writing young. He started with original ideas and I did not. He had the support of his mom and shared his work. I did not. I was so absorbed with being cool that I rarely if ever shared any of what I worked on. I had an English teacher that supported me and I just threw away the two notebooks from that class. Both had poorly written Star Trek stuff in them. His success, however, gives me hope that at 36 perhaps I still have a shot. If I stick with what I’m passionate about and keep pushing forward in the face of self-doubt that perhaps I’ll succeed where in the past I’ve failed. I feel empowered to keep pushing forward with my work even when I think it’s not that good.

Inspiration...

So last Thursday I packed up the family and we made our way to the mecca of all Geeks and Nerd alike. ComiCon! Yep, I hadn't been in about three years and the kids had never been there. We dressed the youngest as Han Solo and he sat in the stroller for most of the day just totally and completely overwhelmed. A few people recognized the outfit which thrilled the wife to no end (she designed it and made it). The Twins seemed to have really enjoyed it and Twin 2 seems to want to go back again next year. I am a proud Daddy indeed.

So where does the inspiration come from? Well I'll tell you. The art work, the creativity that exists within all of the comics. The tenacity of the creators out there trying to get their idea out in the open. We strolled through the artist area and there they all were professionals who'd taken a school kids desire and turned it into money. I'm sure it wasn't that easy. In fact I'm sure it was down right painfully hard. Years of struggling, bleeding fingers and dry eyes probably dotted the way before they're signing autographs or sitting on panels for DC, Marvel, Top Cow, and Image comics. But they started and despite it all they believed in themselves and kept pushing. It wasn't just in the artist area either, I heard people pitching their ideas in line, while walking, hell to anyone who would listen and it was quite inspiring.

I found myself sitting down and working on "Fistful" with renewed energy and desire. The first draft may suck but the ideas are down on paper/screen/disk and at the very least I think there is something there. So I am pushing through. I'm at about 26,000 words and I am sort of seeing through the haze of doubt a climax coming and an ending. If there is an ending it'd be the first story in many many years with an actual ending. I'd be impressed with that if nothing else!

So keep reading, keep writing and by all means keep getting your nerd on because, hey, we only live once.

It’s just like Playing the Lottery

I’ve been on a steady high from this far off light at the end of the tunnel. I have this feeling of accomplishment simply because I’ve made my mind up to pursue a certain path whether it helps me or not. Is it stubborn optimism or simply an uneducated fool of a choice? I don’t really have an answer to that but if I were to hazard a guess, it’s probably somewhere in the middle I suppose. It is, however, refreshing to be able to put aside the petty crap of every day life because of this dedicated belief that something better is going to happen.

My dedication however isn’t really one based on faith of a denial of reality. I think it’s more a belief in myself and the dogged determination to stay the course. I’ve told most people my plans. Told them these grandiose ideas that will take place over time and it’s an easy thing to do. The telling of an idea is so much easier, and sometimes more rewarding, than the actual ‘doing’ of the idea. Dr. Covey, of “7 Habits for Highly Effective People” fame, asserts that the speaking aloud of goals makes them somehow more real and easier to obtain. To that I say bulls**t. It’s easy to say it, it’s easy to commit to it, but it’s a whole other issue when one must get to the doing of it! I can sit down and say I only have five more classes of junior college left before I can finally move on to a real college and start doing real classes that actually matter to me and not Math051. The easy part is in the saying of it, the hard part comes when I have to climb down into the dirty, grimy, and muddy trenches. It’s much harder when I have to slug it out with that stupid classic of a story in Lit class or stumble through yet another 2+2=4 math problem that I could probably do in my sleep. I’ll post again when I reach week 10 of 17 and all I wanna do is hang the whole damn thing up and walk away!

But it’s like playing the lottery…or perhaps more accurately betting on your #1 baseball team (Go Padres!) or football team (Go Chargers!). You do the prep work, you research the hell out of the match-ups, the trends and then you take your educated guess and put it out there to see if you researched right, if you guessed correctly. Writing seems to be like that. You write, you write some more and then you write just a bit more for good measure. You educated yourself on the process, on how to bring life and dept to a character. You learn how to chisel a plot from nothingness and you find that right topic for that perfect moment. You study. You write. You succeed!?

I’m reading Stephen King’s book On Writing and he talks about his book Carrie. It’s interesting because he wrote it and he put it out there. Someone grabbed it. He made a few hundred dollars on it originally. It sold to paperback and he made nearly $200,000 on it. In 1974ish when this took place that was a lot of money. Heck that’s a good chunk of money now. So how did it work for him? I mean why Carrie. He’d written stuff before this. He wrote articles for men’s magazines and he’d studied the craft. He got educated and he was working as a teacher. Had he done just the right amount of research? Perhaps he didn’t get bogged down in the research and remembered to keep writing. I really don’t know, I mean he’s Stephen-Freaking-King so maybe it was just his time, his ultimate destiny. After reading this chapter though it really got me to thinking about how much of a crap shoot it is. You work and you work and maybe there’s something there, maybe even when you think its crap and you still sit down and you still keep pounding it out. Perhaps someone does read it and does think it’s good and WHAMO!!! You are sitting next to Stephen King,Dan Brown, and Robert B. Parker on an author’s panel at some convention in some small hick town in the hind end of nowhere.

So is it a crap shoot or a lottery? Maybe, maybe not. For authors like Stephanie Meyers it’s probably a crap shoot or lottery (although I do believe she majored in English) and for others like Mr. King maybe it’s more of an educated guess. For an author like Robert B. Parker perhaps it's sheer numbers. (He's published over 50 novels for heaven's sake) I’m hoping for educated guess because I’m just not that good with the whole lottery thing.